You know when you get to that stage where everything is wrong. Where you hate your entire wardrobe and your skin. Where you forget one arrangement and double book yourself and just want to cry. Where you compare yourself to everyone and nothing you do seems good enough. Where you just don't see how there are enough hours in the week to get everything done.
We've all been there.
In fact, I was there last night. (sincere apologies to a certain someone who had to put up with me)
And I just couldn't see how any of the pictures I had taken in the day (from the couple shoot with a close friend of mine and her boyfriend before he goes to university) were good enough. In comparison to the other pictures that Oliver took, mine are awful.
So I got stressed and upset and suddenly everything seemed to be awful.
I cried to God for a bit then went straight to bed.
And then this morning I turned on my phone, still feeling slightly sorry for myself, and checked my emails and I had one from justgiving. Someone had donated £150 to my South Sudan page when I only needed £50 to reach my goal. I started smiling, started feeling a little bit better. Then I went downstairs and on the kitchen table there was an envelope which read 'for your South Sudan trip'. I picked it up and opened it to find another £90!
I was so worried when I started to fundraise for my trip that I wouldn't be able to raise enough money, that I would end up having to pay for it all. To be fair, I even considered just paying for it all myself a better alternative to asking people for money. I really hate bugging people to give me money. And yet... God has provided. In fact, he has given me everything I need and more. Enough money so that the organisation I am going with can cover a couple more of there costs, enough money so that I can buy the materials I need to make puppets with the young people of South Sudan.
And suddenly I don't feel so bad.
God knows exactly what we need.
ps. Well done to anyone who actually read my rambling!