Musing mark 2.

I have two parts to my garden. 

The first is grassy, a normal lawn, a patio and a trampoline. 

The second is an enchanted forest. 

Ok, maybe I exaggerate, but I absolutely love our little wood at the end of the garden. When it is sunny, like today, I love to amble through it and just marvel at creation. If you want to kind of get an idea what it is like, check out this video I made a while back :)

Now, what I really wanted to say:

I got through to the final round of the selection process! Just one interview and the job is mine.

Wow. So totally wasn't expecting that.

I don't know whether I will get the job, that's kind of up to God and the person who interviews me, but for now I am happy. I kind of needed to hear that, to calm me down about exams and to give me hope. Even if I don't get the job.

Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again- rejoice!

(Phillipians 4:4)

So, as I am unbelievably happy and contented right now, I thought I'd introduce you to my garden. Where I run through long grass paths like a child and stare at fields hoping to see deer and pretend that I am a fairy (who cares that it's a week until my 18th birthday!)

That German speaking exam? It can wait until tomorrow :P

Love,

Say x

ps. 5 more people to go until I reach my birthday goal of 50 followers!

He sacrificed His Son for me.

This song says it all. It's called 'Once again', it's by Matt Redman and it's beautiful.

Jesus Christ, I think upon Your sacrifice 
You became nothing 
Poured out to death 
Many times, I've wondered at your gift of life 
I'm in that place once again 
I'm in that place once again 

And once again I look upon the cross where You died 
I'm humbled by Your mercy and I'm broken inside 
Once again I thank You, 
Once again I pour out my life 

Now You are exhalted to the highest place 
King of the Heavens, where one day I'll bow 
But for now, I'll marvel at Your saving grace 
I'm full of praise once again 
Oh I'm full of praise once again 

So as I remember his awesome and mighty sacrifice, as I think about a God who is so good and gracious that he sent his one and only son to die the most horrendous of deaths just so that I, a worthless sinner, may live, I am taken back to a place of gratitude and love and praise where I think only of him. Once again I pledge my life to my saviour and once again I fall on my knees in prayer.

So often I forget the magnitude of his sacrifice, the magnitude of his love. How can I live so carelessly, so ignorant of God's love after he has made such a gesture, after he has saved my soul through Jesus Christ? I long to return to his presence, I long to held in his arms, I long to live for him.

He is the hope I need to get me through.

He is the love I need to feel what is true.

He is the light I need to shine the way.

He is my God who is with me, every day.

Jesus is alive.

Hallelujah!

Letters + Love: introducing Chasing Kite Tails

Guys, I would like to introduce to my dear friend, Rae, who blogs over at Chasing Kite Tails. She runs this beautiful and inspirational project called Letters + Love where she sends letters of encouragement to those who want or need it. As those who read my blog regularly know, my life is a bit cra-zy at the moment, and when I saw her project, I knew that I should get in contact. So I emailed her the situation, and my address- ok, I know I shouldn't give my address to strangers, but she seemed genuinely lovely- and a week or so later, this letter popped through my door. She has an amazing gift for writing and I was so moved by what she wrote. Everything she wrote was both relevant and true. She sent me a beautiful passage from the bible as well as encouragement and support. Thank you so much, Rae :)

Sometimes God speaks to you in extraordinary ways! If you had told me a year ago that support would come from an American woman who I had never met in my life, I would have laughed. But God is so much bigger than just my country, just my church, just my immediate support network. And he has given me a friend just when I needed one.

So guys, check out her awesome site and if you or anyone you know would benefit from a letter from Rae, I'm sure she would love to get to know you too :)

Love,

Say :)

Ps. Rae, I'll send you your letter back some time this week :)

Thankful?

I may be able to smile for the camera now, but last night was another story. I was a desperate, hysterical heap crying out to God one single word: why. And I couldn't find the answer. Not through prayer and not through searching through the bible. I read through the psalms and it still didn't help. Not one little bit.

But I know that he's there. I know that he is Just and Good. I know that I will never understand all that he does, that I might scream and cry until I fall asleep in a wretched heap, but that he is still there and he still loves me.

In my weakness, he is strong.

And I am so weak right now, so I can only hold onto the hope that he is at this strongest. There must be a reason for the situation, something I don't know, something that only he who is bigger than everything and anyone else can comprehend.

In him I will put my trust.

I was really struck by Erin's post today on thankfulness and the amazing video she posted and I was determined to think of all the things that I am thankful for, even as I cry out to God that I am struggling.

1. Oliver. 

Where would I be without you? You held me as I cried last night and, even more importantly, when I knew that all I wanted to do was cry out to God, you left. I don't know to thank you enough.

2. My mother. 

She is so amazing and wonderful and I haven't really seen it until this difficult situation. I love you and I hope that you see that. Now I can see how much you love me too.

3. All the people who have supported me through this situation; Lena, Trudy, everyone who has been praying for me.

4. The beautiful sunshine today. The sun always reminds me of God's perfect creation and his awe and splendour. To say I needed this today would be a complete understatement.

5. Every person I met in passing as I went into the little village near me: 

The old man who smiled back at me instead of looking at the ground nervously, the ladies who let me take pictures of their bakery with my Praktica, the man who said hi to me who I served at work last weekend, the family friend who stopped for a conversation. I needed every one of them.

May the peace of the Lord be always with you,

Say x