Breaking up after a long relationship is difficult, for so many reasons. But one I'm really struggling with at the moment is simply being alone after spending my life with someone. There are things that I just wouldn't do because they would seem weird which, if it wasn't just me, would be really cool. Random things like making fruit salad, grabbing a picnic blanket and having a summer banquet in a field. I guess things are just different went it is just you.

In some ways it is good, I can do things like read and sew and run around my garden for no good reason whenever I like. And through being on my own I can work out when I do things for me and when I do them just for the sake of saying that I have done them. It gives me space to think, to write, to be creative. But sometimes it can be lonely.

So I guess what I'm really saying is that I feel kind of alone at the moment, kind of isolated. Friends are in relationships, are busy, are revising, work full time. But I think it's ok because although it seems like it's just me; I am not actually alone. This space is a good time for me to work on my relationship with God, to lean on him for support, to look to him for guidance and to seek him in everything I do. So I think that even though it is difficult and strange to be on my own; it is for the best.

That's all.


Becky Roode said...

Embrace this time. It can be hard at first. Well, it can be hard throughout as well. But you will learn so much during this time and God will use the alone time for your benefit and His glory. <3

Rebekah Markewich said...

Oh, I am so sorry. Even when things are for the better, they still can be dreadful to go through. I will pray for you. <3

Marie Danielle said...

Being alone can be so difficult to get used too! I'm sorry because I know exactly how you feel and it isn't so much fun. But as you said in the end of your post... being out of a relationship can be a good time to focus on other things. I don't really know what to say, and don't want to say the wrong thing (I am not so good with words!). I guess I just wanted to say that I'm sorry, and I know how you feel!! <3 My thoughts and prayers will be with you!!

Jordan Jaked said...

I'm not going to lie. It absolutely sucks at first. Last May, I graduated college; my mother had just passed away three months prior, and my boyfriend (now exboyfriend) had been disloyal. We broke up. I made a promise to myself to not date for an entire year. I was miserable the first few months, and after that, I was empowered. I learned the difference between being lonely and being alone. I started to do things that I never would've done when I was with him. I traveled. I laughed again. I went downtown with friends.

Now, a year later, I am more thankful than ever for that promise I made with myself. I have a strong relationship with God, I'm getting ready to leave for a graduate program on full scholarship, and I know who I am.

You'll get there. One step at a time. I believe in you!

Julie Marie said...

its a good, but hard realization. ive been in that spot recently too...not because of a break up or lack of a full life, but just lack of close friends at the moment i guess..they are all just busy... its been good for me to rely more on God though...spending time getting to know him.. thanks for this...